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Welcome to the Show

Van Gogh: Poem for Judas

May 20, 2016

 

 

I wish I could cut my ear

And look at you from outside space 

 

As you ponder your thoughts 

Over your phone 

On that table 

 

"You don't know...

How hard it is for me to be here"

You say,

Whilst I watch in silence

Your delicate skull

And that tempest vein 

On your temple

 

Today for me,

Is hard to watch you in silence..

I kiss you and

I caress the lipstick away 

From your face, 

I'm

Staring

At the wall of prayer.

 

"I regret it all"

You say,

While I only regret 

Not telling you 

I don't regret anything

Not even the frozen spoons

I had to put on my eyes 

This Morning

So I can be here with you

On a Starry Day

Seemingly (t)earless

 

"You don't understand me..

You are too young

To be walking with me the path

To an emotionless bed

 

 You have trouble 

With understanding emotions"

You say

 

 I think

I have trouble with misunderstanding   

the mistress

that resides in your head

 

" I got involved way too much, many ..many times"

You say..

Ah, my love..

I'm the winner of the nothing they left 

I should cry

 

Oh!

 

But I marvel instead 

How the shrine of your heart got covered in marble

 

"It would have been horrible

To have you!"

....

You say.

 

 

And my

Quivering spine 

Sends fluttering bursts of color to my brain

Caused by the fleeting gentleness of your touch

Guiding the small of my back

Down a pedestrian road.

 

I'm much

too estranged 

In my collapse

To pertain to the rest

That composes my body

 

And I love you..

And I don't know why

And you smile at my words like always 

 

Can I come with you?

NO!

"Don't come with me..,"

You say

"I need to clear my head of this"

 

And you catch the wind

From a strand of my long hair

Bringing it

Along the lines of my neck

Experienced like one

Who unweaves strands

For a living and out of desire

 

 

I wish the wind would play

With the white linen blouse 

Covering my breasts

I know you can fix clothes too!

Not for a living ..but maybe out of desire..

 

And those cluttered eyes

Mysterious ponds 

They waste all my virtues 

I could swear for a moment

They mingle and dive 

Clairvoyant 

Across unseen skin stretching like silk

just beneath your breath

 

 

You say.......

 

Nothing! Thank God! ...you still keep one second of silence ..

 

 

From under my shades

You are in slow motion

 

And if you'd linger more..

the erotic swamp of my mind 

Would unfold and you'd know

That

Watching cars passing by

Right there in the street 

In front of your hotel

I'd make love to you

In cotton and lace

So gently alive

Your erection would bloom

like the seeds of bamboos..

With no further objection.

 

You say...

Ah! please! say nothing!

I only have a moment until 

You do say something

And interrupt my mind...

 

I'd kiss you deep

Rough and slow

Without caring 

I will be forgotten

By the time the clock rings twice

And your taxi arrives

I'd be the goddess of pleasure

Surrounded by all toys

And you'd be my summers away,

Right from the moon landed

 Duke with green eyes

The same taxi 

I once dreamt

Would take you away from me

In the rain where

outside a church stood a lone Jewish bride

But today it was sunshine

and a real taxi arrived

 

"Come here!"

.......You do say.....

As your lips are locked wet in a kiss with my cheek

They provoke the blood in my face 

To flush white ...in retreat..

To my intimate parts

 

And You kiss me..my darling

Like Judas kissed Christ...

 I know you sold me!

And spread lies about me 

Last night at dinner 

to upper class strangers

Like Judas sold Christ!

 

..A Judas Kiss..

in my memory 

Through your see you soon and goodbye

 

You become Judas the Lion

But I am born a Wolf

And wolves don't play 

In the circus of lies

They play..

in the whistling woods.

 

 

My ear falls in my palm 

 

Van Gogh must be petrified

Looking 

At our almost love affair 

From that painting where he sits

On the wall

It must remind him of his own

With Cornelia.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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